Something that I find extremely amusing is the type of searches that land people on my website. And sometimes I have no idea how they end up here. Like, I do not have the slightest clue what to do if there is a squished a bug in your vagina, but apparently google considers me knowledgable on this matter.
And also on other topics like:
"why the fuck are car seats so huge?"
It never occurred to me curse at a search engine. Because this is exactly what I said to Mark when we were trying to find a car seat to fit our car. If I had known you could cuss at Google, we probably would have saved a ton of time.
"pretending to be blind on weekends"
At first I was like, who does that? But then I started thinking about how funny it would be to pretend Samson is my Seeing Eye dog and watch all the surprised looks on people’s faces as he bulldozed his way through a crowded market and then led me into oncoming traffic.
"freakiest women nipples"
You should see them now that my son has teeth.
"pink eye caused by farts"
I knew there was a better explanation than herpes.
I am now officially blaming Mark for that pesky virus that keeps giving my cats pink eye.
"waking up in unexplained wet clothes at canadian hotels"
It’s hard to keep our igloos from melting this time of year. Many of us find wearing rubber pants helpful.
"bondage balloons"
Sometimes I put on a clown suit and then and make Mark wear one. We are normal like that.
"are those your balls on my face"
Why yes! I put them there especially for you. And it kind of tickles.
"inflated my uterus with an air pump - bizarre"
That might be bizarre, but have you ever sprained your uterus?
::: Humour me some more. What sort of strange searches have you had? ::: PS - I added a new menu at the top of this page. Would you be so kind as to let me know if anything has exploded on your end? I am notoriously anal about these things and will not sleep until I know that it works in every damn browser ever invented over all time. Except maybe netscape. What ever happened to them anways? Labels: Comic Relief, Putting the Ass Back in Class |
