| Big Bad Belly Shots Finale – 37 Weeks |
 I had my last doctor’s appointment and ultrasound today. All is well, and my doctor has suggested keeping my feet up this week to help ensure I don’t go into labour. It’s a good thing we did some Christmas baking last weekend. Now I absolutely have an excuse to sit on my ass and pig out on reverse chocolate chip cookies and cookie stuffed brownies.
I’m scheduled for a non stress test this Wednesday as a final means of reassurance that baby is doing well before the c-section.
At this point I feel:
- about as graceful as a centipede on crutches.
- as limber as an arthritic thumb
- as heavy as a one could expect to feel with the weight of a bowling ball hovering between her legs
- 100% excited to meet my baby this Friday
 Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 36 Weeks |
 Weight:
- me (up 27 lbs)
- Nate (6lbs 1oz)
Nate’s Weekly Checkup Results:
Biometry:
- Abdominal circumference (AC): 327mm (36.8 weeks)
- Biparietal diameter - left to right head measurement - (BPD): 84mm (34.2 weeks)
- Occipitofrontal diameter - back to front head measurement - (OFD): 115mm
- Corrected Head Circumference: 88mm (35.8 weeks)
- Femur length (FL): 66mm (33.8 weeks)
Well Being:
- Amniotic Fluid Index: 12.8cm (anything >8 is normal)
- Amniotic Fluid Volume Score: 2 (normal)
- Fetal Movement Score: 2
- Fetal Tone Score: 2
- Fetal Breathing Score: 2
Placenta and Doppler Studies:
- Umbilical Artery pulsatility index: 0.9
- Umbilical Artery Waveform: Normal
- Placenta Grannum Grade: 2 (placenta is aging, and showing signs of calcification within a normal range for this point in the pregnancy).
And most importantly, days until Nate is Born: 9.
 Samson's very own padded headboard
 "Mom, this protrusion sticking out of your body, are you aware that it wiggles and jiggles?"
For Fun - A Nate (left) and Ava (right) Belly Comparison. Can we say holy increased beachball style roundness?Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 35 Weeks |
...and other stuff.
 Baby’s Movement
His ability to wallop and bash my spleen and bladder simultaneously and with enough force to take my breath away has virtually stopped as he runs out of room in his gestating capsule. He now only wiggles and moves his rump in a series of rolling undulations that feel gentle in comparison to the sucker punches he was capable of only a few short weeks ago. Oddly enough, I miss the abuse and worry about him now more than ever that his movements have changed so much in intensity.
Language Adjustments
In anticipation of the easily influenced ears that will soon be entering our household, Mark refrained from cursing obscenities at the asshole who almost hit our car this weekend and belted out a “Whoa Pumpkin” instead. Admittedly, it’s not as satisfying, but at least it’s G rated.
Preparing for Baby
Slacking in this department continues, but today we plan to vacuum about a small animals worth of dog fur out of the car and install the car seat. Sadly, this means there will be no more room for our spoiled dog to lay down in the backseat and rest his chin on the arm rest between the two driver’s seats.
Christmas Shopping
I am done and all the presents are wrapped, tagged and bebowed.
Bloody Nose
I have never seen such murderous red spillage pour out of my nose at random like this before. Odd? Concerning?
Days Left Until Nate is Born
19
In Other News
I have hugeified to the size of a tree
 Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 33 Weeks |
 After my false labour episode on Friday, I don’t think we’ve succeeded in getting our act together to prepare for baby Nate’s arrival.
Instead of preparing for things directly related to the birth of this baby we spent the weekend doing things indirectly related to Nate, like buying me a new notebook computer - Merry Christmas to me – thanks Mom and Mark. With the introduction of more techy gadgets however, all of the wires hanging around suddenly seemed like a menacingly dangerous tripping hazard for moms carrying babies, so we bid the sinister network cables adios and set up a wireless home network. If you happen to live in the area and see a wireless network called *FUCKOFF*, that would be ours – please don’t try to piggy back on it and steal our internet.
Also, because any sort of baking that does not involve a mix master, oven or skillfulness is right up my alley, we did some Christmas baking and made Chocolate Cookie Bark and promptly ate it all because jeez - what if we do end up delivering this baby earlier than expected and all of that cholocately goodness just rots away in the fridge over Christmas. Sheer disgrace I say.
Another indirect and eccentrically nutty preparation for baby’s arrival was putting up the Christmas tree and hauling out all of the Christmas decorations. Somehow sipping hot cocoa made from milk whisked into a warm frothy foam and tying gold ribbons on the tree in late November made more sense than washing receiving blankets and onesies.
I am completely aware of the fact that my c-section is only 32 days away, yet I can’t shake this totally nonchalant laid back attitude about packing my bags and getting the baby’s room together.
That being said, we did manage to fill the car with gas, charge the camcorder and camera batteries and I threw some diapers in a suitcase along with a velour hoodie and cargo pants for Nate’s first trip home. I also bid on and won a new faux shearling bunting bag on ebay for him so our winter coats can match.
Apparently, not only do I need to assess my priorities on getting ready for this kid, but also on dressing him for functionality over cuteness.
And maybe, just maybe, it might be helpful to try and focus on remembering to cut the price tags off of my Christmas decorations. Note the tacky neglectfulness not so discreetly tucked away inside the spiral tree on my end table.Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 32 Weeks |
 I spoke too soon when I bragged about being spared from all the painfully annoying symptoms of pregnancy the first time around.
I think I have heartburn, although technically, nothing burns. Instead, the most utterly unpalatable of unpleasantries is happening and my food can’t seem to find a spot to land and quietly decompose in the nether regions of my stomach.
When I say I feel like a cow, I mean it in the most literal sense because not only are we two species capable of producing milk, but apparently, pregnant people and cows both suffer from the scandalously indecent horror of chewed food defying the laws of physics and hurtling itself back up through our esophagus and into our mouths.
Right about now I’m totally envying the cow all four of their stomachs.
Apparently, my stomach could really use the extra storage space.
Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots – 26 Weeks |
 Considering how much more immobile I am with this pregnancy, and how I am just as ravishingly hungry and gluttonous, I’m a bit surprised that I have only gained 18 lbs. That is the exact same amount of weight that I had gained by this point in my pregnancy with Ava - a time when I had a busy career, commuted, and bustled my butt out of the house more.
Last night I was whining and complaining to my husband how my legs feel like swollen lumps of bread dough that have spent the past 6 ½ months becoming calcified and petrified into inflated tree trunks while being subjected to the continuous pressures of pregnancy.
Ever so delicately, he tiptoed around the subject of bulginess and bloatedness and reminded me that I still look cute and tiny – you know – considering I’ve gained 20lbs.
Without divulging the gruesome details, lets just say he learned that the art of rounding numbers does not apply to pregnancy weight gain – unless one fibs and rounds down – because no matter how much the pregnant population loves gestating the tiny life form in their stomach for 40 weeks and watching their tummies grow as a result, becoming a gassy and distended mass of orbicular heftiness is no cake walk. Especially considering no walkways lined with cake could ever exist in the first place with the uncontrollable hunger and ravenous appetite that comes with the pregnancy parcel.
 In case you've always wondered - I am completely aware how ghastly unmatched the colour of my walls are to the carpet. We had great intentions to put in hardwood floors, but a bathroom renovation project was more expensive than we thought, and now I am stuck with this pink tinged shag of a carpet. Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 21 Weeks |
With 147 days of pregnanthood behind me and 117 more days until delivery, this pregnancy if flying by so fast, yet so slow all the same time.
I feel like a bloated blowfish that just devoured an entire school of floundering fish followed by a picnic of swallowing a whole pumpkin. The squirminess in my tummy consists of kicking, jabbing, rolling and show-offy little boy summersaults. I swear I felt this uterine trampoline hopping cadet’s bladder crushing nose dives at 12 weeks, but most sources indicate that is impossible. In any case, at least Mark’s carefully placed hands have also been enjoying little bubs calisthenical vigor for the past three weeks.
My gestating capsule is growing and expanding so much faster than I imagined it could. I already look larger than I did at 26 weeks with my first pregnancy, yet my weight gain is exactly the same. At this rate, those stomach stretch marks I so blissfully avoided the first time around are sure to make an appearance soon.
 To compare, the picture of me on the left is five weeks away from 26 weeks, which is how far along I was in the photo on the right when pregnant with Ava.Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 19 Weeks |
 Note to self: Trying to take your own photo makes you look cross-eyed and perhaps like you are suffering from a brain obstruction. Enlist the help of others to capture your whimsical pregnancy nostalgia.
 Note to self: Whimsical pregnancy nostalagia (even when help has been enlisted to photograph it) kinda looks like the land of sleepwalking zombies the day the world turned yellow. Open eyes next time.
 Even the pooch can't resist high-fiving and rubbing my tummy.
Note to self: One of the best things about pregnancy is that my boobs make an appearance. If I squished them together real tight, I might even be able to create a crevasse of cleavage. Labels: Big Bad Belly Shots, Pregnancy |
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| Big Bad Belly Shots - 16 Weeks |
For the love of cheese and a ceaseless supply of cantaloupe and pineapples, I have ballooned to a total of nine pounds of pure elephantine stomach stretching proportions.
If this pregnancy progresses anything like my first (which it seems to be), then packing on the pounds up front seems to be the way my body likes to gestate and carry the ankle-biters of the future.
Speaking of the future, on December 22nd of this year, I will be welcoming little bubs into this world via an elective c-section. I couldn’t ask for a more memorable or cherished Christmas gift. Really, I’m weepy at the thought of being discharged and bringing baby home on Christmas day.
Because I am actually feeling rather good today, I braved the camera and in keeping with tradition from Ava’s Pregnancy Blog, the Big Belly Belly shots are back.
  Yes, that's how my cami actually fits now, and yes, I actually walk around the house like that.
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