tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post7229577690310150294..comments2008-01-05T21:27:23.552-05:00karlahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05483505184799130550noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-83424742561083372002008-01-05T21:27:00.000-05:002008-01-05T21:27:00.000-05:00Sobbing all over again. Sigh.Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06242951230330066142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-85963155687004254372007-04-04T11:44:00.000-04:002007-04-04T11:44:00.000-04:00Karla - I am a recently married twenty-something who has been lurking on your blog for several months but never had the guts to say anything. I think I thought that sending you loving thoughts and strength and well wishes from Nevada would be enough. It's not anymore, though. Not for me.<BR/><BR/>I just wanted to say that I admire you and your husband - your incredible strength, your ability to pick yourself up as best you can after that terrible tragedy that was Ava's death and carry hope for the future...now found in the form of sweet Baby Nate. He is a precious gift and you are a talented writer. You didn't have to share what you've shared with the Internet, but because you have, I thank you. It seems you've found strenth and healing from the process and that is also a precious gift! I've spent many hours reading your blog - now and then - and I've shed many tears for you. Though I don't have any children of my own yet, I think that "mother's instinct" made me grieve for you. With you. But I've felt joy, too, reading about your happiness with your sweet, supportive husband and gorgeous little boy.<BR/><BR/>Someone I know lost her baby girls - twins - when she was 5 months along. She lost them the day after my wedding. She started feeling "not right" at my post-wedding brunch. I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling guilty for her loss, even though I know it was not my fault. She will always associate my happiest day with her most devastating day. And today, she's holed herself up and I have never figured out how to help. She won't let anyone in.<BR/><BR/>My cousin, yesterday, gave birth to a sweet baby girl - she is healthy and beautiful and has given her and her husband hope, just like Nate has given you hope. My cousin lost her little boy in her third trimester. Her little girl is a precious gift!<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure why I'm sharing all this. Maybe just so you will know, as I know many people on this blog have helped teach you, that you are not alone. People across the globe - with or without children - can relate to what you've been through. And as April 14th approaches, we're sending you more strength than ever before. Hang in there.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496462149547959911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-64871171141705693222007-04-01T17:04:00.000-04:002007-04-01T17:04:00.000-04:00There are no words...<BR/><BR/>*hugs*Poppyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05923400820390663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-82037158251738753112007-04-01T15:30:00.000-04:002007-04-01T15:30:00.000-04:00I am another internet stranger that has stumbled upon your blog and have been inspired by your story. Every post about Ava and Nate remind me just how precious live is!Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08625371172952502609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-39737904495951756022007-04-01T11:42:00.000-04:002007-04-01T11:42:00.000-04:00Wow I can not believe it has been two years!<BR/><BR/>Ava is so lucky to have you and Mark for parents her memory will always live because of you. <BR/><BR/>I know I will never forget her and her beautiful face!TBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04706763719847053772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-66152135676591236112007-03-30T01:18:00.000-04:002007-03-30T01:18:00.000-04:00I'm so happy that I could be there for you in even the tiny way that I was and am. You've also been there for me, too. As completely crushed as I am about Ava and the pain you've all suffered, at the same time, it reminds me to be thankful and always mindful of the fortune that I am so grateful to be able to have in my life. I wish it hadn't taken a loss so great for someone else to be the catalyst for me to make my life better and appreciate what I have, but I am glad that it forced me to take that look at myself and my life. So thank you.Christihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05369978641581682398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-20763073264310091702007-03-29T22:43:00.000-04:002007-03-29T22:43:00.000-04:00I'm just so sorry, Karla. There are no words; I'm just so damned sorry you have to EVER experience this pain.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14003570562685431882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-67516516057714525052007-03-29T21:34:00.000-04:002007-03-29T21:34:00.000-04:00Here is the thing. I only know you through your blog. I know that the death of child far surpasses any grief I have felt for my friends dying 13 years ago. But, grief is hard, personal, and long. It effects you in ways you never thought possible and it will always. You are forever changed. These are things I learned from my friend's, Jeff, mom. There will always be a hole in your heart. You will love others more deeply. Funny, that deep hole allows us to love in ways we never thought possible. You are in my prayers these next few weeks because I know it will be hard.Dayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649304958420208538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-67894328695079440762007-03-29T13:51:00.000-04:002007-03-29T13:51:00.000-04:00Oh gosh, Karla. My heart breaks every time you post about Ava. You are such a strong and amazing woman as well as a loving mother of two beautiful children. Ava would be so proud of you and Nate, too, when he gets older.Kerihttp://www.jimikiwi.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-39091001797012126542007-03-29T12:35:00.000-04:002007-03-29T12:35:00.000-04:00The loss of a child is never easy. I haven't lost my own child, but I was 8 when my mom lost my little brother. I remember being so damn excited at the thought of having a sibling and even more excited knowing that it was going to be a boy. I loved feeling him kick watching him get the hiccups. Unlike you though, my mom didn't have a good pregnancy. She had no amniotic fluid and ended up being put on bed rest when she was 5 months a long. There are many other factors that play into all this, but I won't go there. All I know is that my mom when into labor at 7 months. I was taken to a friend of the families house where I stayed the night. My little brother was born, lived for 8 hours and then died. The doctors said if he would have been a girl, he probably would have made it for the simple fact his lungs weren't fully developed and girls develop faster than boys. <BR/><BR/>I remember the lady I was staying with got the call and told me what had happened. I remember saying, "Oh ok," and walking to the bus stop. I was 8 and had no idea how much it would affect my life. The lady picked me up from the bus stop and wouldn't let me go to school. The next few days were so tough. My mom was an absolute mess and for years blamed herself for what had happened. My dad just keeps everything to himself. And for a long time, I just didn't understant. <BR/><BR/>My brother would have been 17 March 6. It is something that I think about all the time and his birthday is one that I will never forget. The pain does fade, but there are always hard times. My mom still gets super emotional around the time he was born and holidays.<BR/><BR/>Rest assured that it will get easier, but the memories will never go away. She will always be in your heart, thoughts, memories, prayers. She will always be with you. I am sorry for your loss. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I can relate.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17408462028112937758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-27204785354709191182007-03-29T10:57:00.000-04:002007-03-29T10:57:00.000-04:00I simply cannot fathom how the pain could ever go away. You are so incredibly strong, many marriages, I am sure you were told, fail after this kind of loss. To see that you were able to turn to each other, move forward and create with that love and devotion your sweet little Nate. I hope that as we visit and read your words and leave our comments you will feel the continued collective embrace of all the poeple who's hearts you've touched and who would do anything to ease your pain.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05864631532886681402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-76498198174887566692007-03-29T08:53:00.000-04:002007-03-29T08:53:00.000-04:00What a touching and heartfelt post. I'm sure it left many of us (like me) on the verge of tears.<BR/><BR/>Oddly enough, I've taken exactly the opposite approach to the loss of my twins (one stillborn, one dying shortly after birth). I don't have a memory box. I didn't keep anything physical that would remind me of them. But still, sometimes, it seems that, like you, I'll never truly come to terms with my loss.niobehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10685766216611639434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-65639254261798297532007-03-28T22:43:00.000-04:002007-03-28T22:43:00.000-04:00Ava is still in my thoughts always too Karla :( I'll never forget the day I sat stunned and read that post. <BR/><BR/>We still let off balloons for Ava, and will forever more. <BR/><BR/>http://macleodzoo.blogspot.com/2005/04/sometimes-its-just-not-fair.htmlLeannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-91207038816053562312007-03-28T21:21:00.000-04:002007-03-28T21:21:00.000-04:00Tonight before I put my two year old to bed I told him the short story of his big brother. I told him about him being in heaven and watching all of us. Most of the time I was talking I was crying.<BR/><BR/>It has been three and a half years since my angel passed away. <BR/><BR/>Every once and a while I burst into tears for no reason. One day in class I started crying because of something my professor said and I had to leave class.<BR/><BR/>Just know that you are not alone.Heddahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10092579992277542694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-71648586437793016652007-03-28T21:11:00.000-04:002007-03-28T21:11:00.000-04:00I am so sorry for what you have lost, but I am so happy for what you have. Nate is a beautiful baby, who will give you the strength to carry on.Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00977781470147646616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-10925341207221236282007-03-28T21:06:00.000-04:002007-03-28T21:06:00.000-04:00You made me tear up all over again, Karla, and so I should. I remember the balloons though, even though that makes me tear up too. The silver lining (that doesn't sound right because there is really nothing silvery about it, but I trust you understand what I mean) is that I'm pretty sure that Ava is loved all the more.Anvilcloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04145547529399446289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-89435228907726071752007-03-28T20:32:00.000-04:002007-03-28T20:32:00.000-04:00You are so good with words. We've all said it so many times. It's just so true. My heart has ached for you and rejoiced with you so many times, and here I am again, aching with you. You deserve much happiness. I'm so sorry for all the sadness you have and still do experience.<BR/>Kiss that baby boy! :)Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12347326280389083334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-71741346263871108142007-03-28T15:14:00.000-04:002007-03-28T15:14:00.000-04:00Just want you to know that I was here.Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15222197140433385319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-16746414957250635862007-03-28T15:12:00.000-04:002007-03-28T15:12:00.000-04:00Karla,<BR/><BR/>I am so sorry that you have had to go through the loss of Ava. Please know that you, Mark and little Nate are in my thoughts.<BR/><BR/>I started reading your blog about 3 months before Ava died. The day I read that last post, my heart broke for you. I wrote about you in my blog today. I hope you don't mind. If you would rather I didn't, please email me and I will remove the post immediately. I don't want to cause any more pain for you.<BR/><BR/>Cate<BR/>cateslife@gmail.comCatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17427389718616405880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-33747606634369653732007-03-28T14:52:00.000-04:002007-03-28T14:52:00.000-04:00Karla...<BR/>just wanted to let you know that I read your blog, enjoy your posts, and felt your pain in your words... My Mother just lost her daughter in January and the pain that is felt there must be unimaginable. I know I fear it everyday, and every night when I go to sleep, Did I kiss everyone enough? Did I love everyone enough today? <BR/>If I had known you 2 years ago, there would've been a balloon floating up to the heavens from our house to Ava's front door... Keep the strength, you're an amazing woman & Mommy...Jessicawww.jbrooke7.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-55290779075056925922007-03-28T14:36:00.000-04:002007-03-28T14:36:00.000-04:00You certainly honour your daughter here every day. And I don't think that there is much possibility of "coming to terms" with the death of your child (and as a side note, I am not sure I <I>want</I> to). I think that the best we can hope for is to live a life that is as full as possible, but for the large missing piece. I hope that you find moments of peaceful remembrance in these difficult days leading up to Ava's birthday. I am starting to realize that, no matter how much time passes, it is never easy.delphihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07529670960180261467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-48665015071739202532007-03-28T14:22:00.000-04:002007-03-28T14:22:00.000-04:00Children touch our lives no matter how long or short a time they were with us. I'm so sorry she can't be with you now.Plain Jane Momhttp://plainjanemom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-90061281107708423572007-03-28T13:53:00.000-04:002007-03-28T13:53:00.000-04:00I wish I could say what ever you need to hear, I wish I knew what to say - I don't. <BR/>But I loves ya - and Ava, and am so glad you choose to share...Queuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05980129048301321686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-52491217179621249572007-03-28T13:30:00.000-04:002007-03-28T13:30:00.000-04:00Karla,<BR/><BR/>You are an amazing woman and mother. You have more strength than I could ever imagine having. You have been through the worst this world can offer but I can only hope you are now experiencing some of the best with little Nate. <BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful family.andreawww.alphababy.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12843084.post-77818572255511827212007-03-28T13:18:00.000-04:002007-03-28T13:18:00.000-04:00I think you are an amazing person. What you have gone through I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. My heart aches everyday on April 14th, as it is a very important day for me.. my son was born the same day as Ava. <BR/><BR/>I cried when the day I opened your blog and read what had happened. My heart broke into a million pieces for you that day. I still get tears just thinking about what you've gone through. <BR/><BR/>Each April 14th I think of Ava and release a balloon into the air in her memory, and I know for a fact that as long as I'm living I will think of her on the day she was born.Melaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03590791259711362573noreply@blogger.com